Catch the Wind
by Midnight6
Summary: Crossover fic. Shinji, after the fight with the fourth angel, runs away again, intent on ending it all. Things don't go as planned. Bad summary, I know. But give it a try.
1. Will to live

Disclaimer: As always, Evangelion and any other source of inspiration used here don't belong to me. This is just for fun people, so no one sue!

Catch the Wind

Chapter 1

Will to Live

It would be so easy. So very easy. Jump. End it all. No more torment, no more pain. Nothing but the bliss of oblivion.

All these thoughts coursed through the mind of a rather average looking fourteen year old boy, as he stood on the edge of a cliff, beholding the chasm below. However, average would be the last word one would use to describe this little man. He was born with the ability to pilot the giant bio-mechanical entities know as Evangelion. Indeed, a blessing in most people's eyes. But to this young lad, a curse would be a more fitting description. By ironic twists of fate, almost every single person he's come into contact with after becoming a pilot has been hurt in one way or another. What's more, everyone he looked up to now saw him as a tool, nothing more. He could trade places with a dummy in the Eva's entry plug and they wouldn't even notice.

Useless. That's what he was. As a pilot, he was a failure, winning only by losing what little control he had over the machine's raw power. Misato confirmed that herself when she scolded him, and all but rejected him when he had run away. As a human... That line of thought wasn't even worth finishing. He was sure everyone would be better off without him around. Toji's hatred towards him would hopefully subside, and he'd be able to focus his attention on his wounded sister's recuperation. The memory of the small girl brought with it a fresh wave of guild. He and only he was responsible for her condition.

Now? He had nothing to go back to. He had officially been relieved of his duties at NERV. He was supposed to have been escorted to the train station, but he had other plans. Having eluded his guards once before, it was a simple matter to do it again. A hollow chuckle escaped his lips as he thought of what Section 2 was going to receive when Misato got word of this. But back to matters at hand. It had taken a little more time than expected to get back here, and nightfall had crept up without his noticing. But now, he was here, and ready.

So consumed by his thoughts, Shinji was oblivious to a pair of eyes watching him.

***section divide***

"YOU WHAT?"

Section 2 agents, trained in mortal combat, numerous weapons, ready to die in the line of duty, and yet they found themselves cowering like five year olds away from Misato's verbal onslaught.

She had driven as fast as she could to reach the train station in time, desperate to catch Shinji before he left. But once there, she was greeted with the almost comical sight of two Section 2 agents searching high and low for the missing pilot.

"Of all the incompetent, numb-skulled... gaaaaah! I don't care how many agents you deploy, I want him found! Notify me immediately when you locate him, and do not approach him before I do. If anything's happened to him, so help me I'll come after every single one of you! Have I made myself perfectly clear! Now get out of my sigh!"

Apparently agents in NERV's employ were also very capable runners. Besides, Misato's enraged visage provided more than enough incentive to get the heck out of there.

Misato indeed looked like she was going to explode. Approaching her at that moment would not be an advisable course of action. But her anger was just a way of concealing her own worries and anxiety. She of all people knew Shinji's current state of mind. Her previous conceptions of the boy were way off mark, and now the weight of that mistake was bearing down on her. All he ever did was care for people in his own unique way, even for her. But she had realized that too late. The way she had dismissed him after their last meeting... he must think she hates him. He thinks he's alone in the world now, and there's no telling what he might do.

'I have to find him. I can't leave it up to those idiots. He wa- is my responsibility. I took him in. God please help me find him.'

She started making her way back to her car, but was surprised to find others waiting for her there.

"You're Shinji's friends right? Suzuhara and Aida."

Toji, still somewhat smitten with the older woman, was practically standing in attention. "Hai! Toji Suzuhara and Kensuke Aida Ma'am!"

Misato could only sweatdrop at the boy's reaction. It's a good thing Kensuke could act a little more composed in front of authority figures. "Yes ma'am. We were wondering what happened to Shinji. We came to see him off today, and did manage to talk with him for a little while. But when we were done, he seemed..." Kensuke hesitated. He himself wasn't sure what to make of the pilot's last words. Toji, slightly sobered up by the tense topic, decided to pick up where his classmate left off. "After we talked and... settled a few things, he was being taken up to the train, but halfway up the stairs, he stopped. I thought he was going to make a break for it, but he just turned around, telling us to forget about him, that we'd be better off with him gone."

This news only served to augment whatever fears Misato had. Kensuke continued: "He looked weird when he was talking Misato-san. I've never seen him like that before. Well, except..." A slight nudge from Toji was required for him to finish. He just couldn't help himself. The thoughts forming in his mind were becoming frightening at an alarming rate. "I'm sure you were told he was camping out with me yesterday, right? Well, before he noticed I was there, he had that same look. I wasn't sure what to make of it then, and besides, since he was sitting with me, I kinda forgot about it and let it slide. But now... God I hope I'm wrong Misato-san, but the road he was on leads to the cliffs."

Then it hit her. All the pieces were laid down in front of her, but only at that second did they come together, all at once, and formed a picture that made the bottom fall out from her soul.

Bolting into the driver's seat of her car, she turned the ignition on and sped off, praying to whatever deity that was listening to help her make it in time.

Had it been any other day, the two boys would have been impressed with the show of automotive handling, not to mention the fact that Misato was the one behind the wheel. But today, all they could think about was the welfare of one Shinji Ikari.

***section divide***

He had been watching from his hiding spot for a while now. This area was a particular favorite for him, the view breathtaking, and the air currents amazing. Besides, he needed some alone time away from his siblings. But tonight, he came to find someone had beaten him here. A young boy was there, standing on the edge of the cliff. His first thought was to conceal himself. Being who and what he was, stealth and concealment were tools of the trade, not to mention necessities for survival. He was about to sneak away quietly, but the boy's manner made him linger. Something about him was disturbing. He looked as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders, an odd occurrence for one so young. His instincts were screaming at him to keep watch on this one. And if there's one thing he'd learned early on in his life, it was to always trust his instincts.

Almost as if to confirm his suspicions, the boy took one last step forward, falling into the abyss bellow. At that moment, rational thought took a back seat in his mind, leaving instincts to take over. And one of the most powerful drives his kind possessed was the need to protect. Crouching on all fours, he ran to the edge of the cliff, trying to build as much momentum as he could. Then, just as he reached the edge, he launched himself downward, towards the falling form.

***section divide***

Falling. So fast. The wind running against him. This is what he chose. He wanted to end it all. He deserved this fate. Everyone would only benefit from his demise. He just wanted the cycle of pain to stop, so he had cut it, the only way he knew how.

Running away. He was running away again. It's all he ever did. But what's so wrong about that? What's wrong with shutting out reality if there's nothing, no one waiting for you?

'Do you really believe that?'

Where did that thought come from? He must be losing the last of his sanity. It was said that people could see many things when they were about to die. Some see their lives flashing in an instant. Some see a long dark tunnel with a light at the end. Some even say they see God himself. For Shinji, it was something else altogether. He was seeing himself.

The fall, the ground catching up with him, the wind beating against him, it was all gone. He was standing in an immense black void, his only company, well, himself. Quite literally, someone who could pass off as his twin was standing in front of him. The lighting was odd, since wherever you stood, his eyes were always out of sight behind a shadow of hair. On the other hand, the grin he was wearing was very visible.

'So you honestly believe that no one wants you. That you're all alone.'

Shinji was slightly stunned at first, but quickly shook it off. He was dying, so he could humor this illusion.

"Of course I'm sure. Just look at what they said and did to me. I'm only causing them trouble and pain. All I'm ever getting is trouble and pain. That's why I jumped."

Just then, images started forming all around Shinji, displaying themselves like a slideshow to their viewers.

Misato, telling him in a cold voice to "Get in" before his first sortie into battle.

Toji punching him behind the school, and the look of complete hatred he wore during it all.

Kensuke telling him "His sister got hurt during that attack. Well, that's his excuse anyways..."

Himself screaming during the battle with the fourth angel, and then weeping when it was all over.

Misato screaming at him when he was brought back: "Cut that out! This has nothing to do with any of us! If you don't like it, get out of here! Completely forget all about Eva and us and go back to where you came from! We don't need someone with that attitude piloting."

Seeing all this again was too much for his already weary mind. All he could do was collapse onto his knees, trying to block out what he was hearing with his hands on his ears.

Throughout all this, his twin had remained silent. In truth, he was taking all this in, measuring what he was up against. Shinji was reliving his worst moments. These were what had compelled him to do the unthinkable. Now, it was up to him to take each one of them apart and repair the damage.

With a wave of his hand, the twin dissipated the images from around them. Shinji calmed slightly, but still remained huddled on the ground. Now was the time. One by one, new images started to appear around them both, but these were noticeably warmer to the heart.

Misato showing him the rising towers from the lookout spot. "This city is a fortress, designed to protect us against the Angels. This is Tokyo-3. This is our city. And it's the city that you saved."

When he first arrived with Misato to the apartment. "Shinji-kun, this is your home now!"

"Ta- Tadaima."

"Okaerinasai."

Late at night, when she thought he was sleeping. "You did a very good thing today. You should be proud of yourself. Good night, Shinji-kun. Hang in there."

Toji when he caught up with him in the station. "Ikari, I'm sorry I hit you twice. Please, hit me back! Please. Otherwise, I won't be satisfied." Most evident what the contented smile the jock wore after the deed was done, confirmed by his saying "And if anyone tries to blame you, I'm gonna give them a head butt!"

Seeing these new images and listening to what was being said, Shinji slowly got up. Indeed, the effect of these particular memories was formidable in repairing the damage. His twin followed suite: 'You see? Each and every one of them is here. If you feel you've hurt or wronged any of them, then see that they've clearly forgiven you. If you think you're useless, then look again. They need you. You're already a part of Misato-san's life, family even. And Kensuke and Toji have promised to stand up to protect your honor, with a head butt to boot!'

Hope slowly made its way into the third children's heart. He couldn't help it. His fears were being drowned out as soon as they tried to resurface. But his current reality came back to him, nearly crushing what little hope had amassed within him. "Why are you doing this? Why give me hope when it's too late? I'm going to die any moment now."

'You're not dead yet. As long as you draw breath, I guaranty you will always have a choice in your fate.'

"Choice? What choice is there? I'm falling off a cliff!"

His twin seemed almost pleased that Shinji asked that question. So he answered it with, of all things, another question.

'If you were given the choice again, live or die, right now, would you still pick death?'

How he had changed in so little time. Earlier, he was practically begging for the embrace of the grave. But now? His answer came out strong and sure.

"No! I want to see them again! All of them!"

His twin nodded once, seemingly satisfied with the answer. He then walked up to Shinji, and when he was facing him, he placed a hand on his chest. Just as the hand made contact, Shinji fell backward, only this time, no ground was there to support him. Of course, as he fell more, his twin faded from view, but he still made out one thing.

'You've saved yourself, and me as well. Now live!'

***section divide***

Shinji's eyes snapped open. He was back in his freefall. But now, his first thought was not of acceptance for death. Far from it. The last word he heard still echoed in his mind. '_Live_!' So he yelled out, as if he was defying his sealed fate.

But his scream was almost chocked out into a gasp as he saw what was rapidly closing in on him. His eyes filled with what he was seeing. A massive figure. Glowing white eyes. Sharp claws reaching for him. And wings on its back. It wasn't human. But it was coming for him. It looked like the angel of death itself. In a second, it was within reach. This was it, he could feel its arms grabbing him. 'So I wasn't able to beat fate after all,' he thought bitterly. Imagine his surprise when he heard the creature speak.

"Hold on."

How to react to that, but to obey? Shinji quickly wrapped his arms around the creature's neck, and held on for dear life. His hold secure, he felt a sharp jolt. It had spread its wings. He could feel their momentum dissipating, enough for his savior to grab hold on a ledge on the cliff. Quickly jumping off, Shinji still had to practically glue his back to the cliff, since there wasn't enough footing for comfort. Sparing a glance at his neighbor, he found that he didn't share his fear of falling, since his talons were digging into the stone as if it were made of cloth. All he could do was stare silently. Then, it spoke again.

"You have nothing to fear from me young one. Though I am curious as to what possessed you to jump off. Flight was never you humans' strong point."

By this time, Shinji's breathing had slowed to a more subdued pace, as did his heart rate. So it was with some calm that he realized that this, whatever it was, was actually trying to joke with him. 'It did save my life. And if it wanted to hurt me, it would have already,' he reasoned. It's amazing how near-death experiences put things a little more into perspective. You make decisions with a little more drive, and you tend to second guess them a little less.

"Umm, as much as I want to answer you, do you think we could get off of here first?"

He blinked at that question. Hanging off walls and ledges was almost second nature to him, but it completely slipped his mind that his companion wasn't so fortunate.

"Ah… You do have a point there. Forgive me."

"Get us out of here and let's call it even. Why not go back up? Since you can fly..."

Shinji trailed off there, since all he received was a shake of the head. "I can't fly. I can only glide on currents of wind, and there are none here strong enough to lift us back up."

This didn't sound good to Shinji. "So we're stuck here?"

The creature just chuckled, and using its free arm, lifted Shinji onto its back. "Far from it. Hang on."

Shinji's surprise and curiosity were quickly answered as his savior started scaling the cliff by digging its talons into the rock, just as it had done earlier to stop their fall. The relative ease with which this task was accomplished left no doubt as to the strength of this being. This, along with the increasing altitude, made Shinji tense up slightly, a reaction not missed by the other. 'He is afraid. Perhaps even of me. This will not do.' Matching action to thought, it said: "Trust me. I will not let any harm come to you. I swear it."

Simple words. Honest words. Shinji found himself believing in them. His fear was indeed dissipating, but he didn't relax his hold on the creature's neck any; he didn't want a repeat performance of his dive. The rest of the climb was spent in silence.

Eventually, they made it back to solid ground, and not a moment too soon for the Third Child, as he jumped off at the first chance. This allowed him to finally get a good look at his rescuer. He now had confirmation that we wasn't hallucinating earlier. The wings were now draped around the shoulders in a cloak like manner, but they were still the first thing to catch the eye. They looked leathery in texture, very much like a bat's, and yet very strong. Standing in front of him, he was clearly more than twice his height, and built like a bull. He wore what looked like a loin cloth, held in place by a thick belt. Then he looked at the face for the first time. Dark skin, almost completely black, a white main of hair going down to mid-back, and dark brown eyes looking back at him. Oddly enough, if it weren't for the enlarged bow ridges over the eyes, it looked practically human. At that thought, Shinji kicked himself mentally. He had been referring to his savior as "it" for a while now. Even if it was only in his thoughts, it was wrong. He was going to start his usual string of apologies when he was beaten to the punch.

"I hope you won't hold it against me when I ask if you still hold the desire to jump."

"No no. I'm sorry. I assure you it won't happen again!"

Giving Shinji a smile and a nod, he continued: "Very good. But now, I would like to hold you to your promise earlier. I believe you owe me an explanation."

Shinji hesitated for a moment, but no more than that. If anyone deserved to know his reasons, it would be the one who saved his life. Nodding to himself, he started: "Well, I..."

He didn't have a chance to say any more, as they both turned to look at a fast approaching, and very familiar looking, blue sports car.

"Misato-san!" Shinji cried out. He was about to run to the car, when he remembered his companion. "She's here for me."

"I understand. But I must leave now. I must not be seen. Perhaps we will meet again young one, hopefully under better circumstances."

And with that, he leapt into the shrubbery, out of sight. Shinji just stood there, looking at where he was standing. By then, Misato had stopped the car, and was running towards him, the headlights of her car still on behind her. She thought she had seen a shadow near Shinji, but her state of mind made the matter unimportant, dismissing it quickly. He was here, he was alive, he was safe. That's all that mattered to her now. She stopped a few feet in front of him, breathing heavily.

There they were, face to face. Both were wondering similar things. What was going to happen now? How should I react? Misato, as an officer, would be well within her rights to toss Shinji in a cell and throw away the keys, but not before a serious verbal chew-out. As a guardian she could do pretty much the same thing, not to mention resisting the urge of throwing him off that cliff herself for what he made her go through. As she was slowly closing the last few steps between them, emotions were raging within the woman, pulling her in several directions at once. But in the end, the most unlikely side won. Dropping to her knees, she reached out and gently pulled him against her.

Shinji himself wasn't expecting it. He was secretly hoping for it, but never did he allow himself to believe that it would happen. So when it did, it broke every one of his defenses. His arms rose almost of their own accord around the woman, returning the embrace, tears threatening to flow.

He tried to talk. So much he wanted to tell her. But simple speech was proving to be too difficult. This was the first time there had been such a powerful, uninhibited show of emotion between them, and Shinji was simply overwhelmed by it all. "Misato-san, I... I..."

She interrupted him with a gentle voice. "Let's go home."

Too much had happened tonight. They were both spent, be it physically or emotionally. So all Shinji could do was say a weak but sincere "Hai" and follow his guardian to her car.

The drive home was quiet. There would be time enough for talk tomorrow. And as Shinji stared at the starry sky running above him from the window, he thought back to his brush with death, and the being to who he owed his life. 'And I didn't even thank him.'

**Author's notes:**

I hope it's become fairly obvious by now that this is an Evangelion/Gargoyles crossover fic. This chapter has been sitting on my hard drive for quite some time, in and out of reviews and rewrites. I've always wanted to write a crossover, but I never could find the right mix. I also wanted to do something original, and, well, this came out.

Gargoyles was one of my favorite series on TV, and it was the first show that brought me to fanfiction (followed eventually by Eva). It's been a while since I've delved in the garg universe, but I remember enough to hope this project will work out.

This fic was two clicks away from being a run-of-the-mill Phoenix Gate fic, but I changed my mind. That would be too unimaginative. With my current path, I have much more potential for development.

I plan to continue this story, but the chapters may be slow in coming, since I'm not sure where the story will go. I may make some characters OOC, but not too much, just enough to make them fit in my story. And I intend to follow the Eva continuity on this.

At any rate, please review. I'd like to hear any opinions and ideas you may have. And if you have any suggestions, mail me. I'm open to any constructive critics.

Until next time.


	2. The day after

Disclaimer: you know the drill. Me no own Eva or gargs, so no sue. I'm just here to have and provide fun.

Catch the Wind

Chapter 2

The Day After

Many of us complain about the monotony of our lives. How every day is like the day before, and how the next will most likely follow the same pattern. We feel as if we are being cheated out of something, that little extra spice in life. And yet, when an event comes to break that simple boring continuity, you think you'd embrace it, and you just may at first. But you'd be surprised how, when it's all over, you'll find yourself going back to your previous state, willingly, almost... gladly.

This is why, when Shinji Ikari returned to the apartment, all he could do was make a bee-line to his room and fall asleep. If asked about it, he'd say that everything from meeting Misato on the edge of the cliff to the next morning was nothing but a blur in his mind.

And so, Shinji slept. It was a restful, but dreamless sleep.

The quiet and stillness of the night gave Misato time alone. Having made sure Shinji was asleep, she sat at the kitchen table, but not before lining it with row upon row of beer cans. 'Business as usual eh old girl?' Her intent was all too clear: slipping into the oblivion of liquid consolation. And why not? Shinji, her charge, someone she was coming to love like a son, had tried to kill himself. He had found death more appealing than being with her. True, she found him before the point of no return, but that didn't negate the fact that he had been at the brink, and she was most responsible for leading him there.

She reached out for her first can, popped the top, and downed it in a flash. There was no boisterous yell this time. She was counting on the burn and the soon to follow buzz to cloud her troubled mind. Can after can followed, until she was nearly through half of what was before her. But, as she reached for the next can, her hand paused, and returned to her side. This odd little dance repeated itself a few times. Reaching, stopping. Reaching again, stopping again. It was as if she were afraid the can would singe her hand if she were to grab it. But why?

Sobbing.

She could hear faint sobs. She scanned the apartment around her, confused. Shinji was sound asleep in his room. But she was certain that it was him. In a way, it was. We should know all too well how the mind's eye plays tricks on a person when behind the haze of alcohol. But sometimes, that same haze is what allows us to see something previously hidden from the clear harsh light of sobriety. For Misato, she was back on the edge of that cliff, watching herself and Shinji. Everything around them was unfocused, blurred. Only the two embracing bodies were clearly defined, and it was indeed Shinji who was sobbing.

"Misato-san, I... I..."

"Let's go home."

Yes, this is what had happened. And seeing Shinji in her arms brought a slight sense of relief to the captain. But as she looked on, something changed. Just as she was getting into her car to drive off, her image turned to her, a sad smile on her face.

'What are you doing?'

Had Misato not been drunk, she'd have broken into a panic. Be that as it may, she just stood there.

'Business as usual, right? Tomorrow morning, you'll wake up late, drink some more, then go to work. Same as you've done last week, last month...' Pausing for effect, she added 'Same as you've been doing all the time he was with you.'

That hit her like a ton of bricks. Realization tends to do that. Nothing had changed. That's what she was telling herself. She was slipping back into her old routine, as if nothing had happened. Tomorrow, Shinji would wake up, find her passed out in her room, and see that he was smack back to where he was before he went to the cliffs.

'Ah, so you see now?'

"No... I'm not... I mean..." There was no denying it. It was laid down before her in black and white. "What can I do?" That question came out more akin to a whimper.

Her image actually smirked. 'You think I'm going to tell you that? Wake up.'

And that she did, with a start that made her almost topple back on her chair. She was back in the kitchen, empty and full beer cans spewed around her, and completely sober. How long had she been out? The clock didn't give the answer she expected.

"Four minutes?"

While time had seemed to be flowing at an agonizingly slow pace in her mind, it had only taken moments. But she didn't have time to rationalize this fact, nor to ask herself where all the alcohol in her system has gone, as everything she'd seen came back to her. Now the question remained: what to do now?

With what she'd seen, why hesitate? A determined look in her eyes, she grabbed the nearest beer can within reach.

***section divide***

When morning came, Shinji was feeling completely rested. But sparing a glance at his alarm clock, he quickly understood why. He was 3 hours late for school. He had overslept. Practically jumping from his bed, he ran to put his clothes on, and came out of his room in a disheveled state, specifically two different socks on his feet, his shirt half tucked in, and one of the worst cases of bed-head ever documented on earth.

"Misato-san! Why didn't you wake me up? Misa... to... san?"

Ever hear the sound of screeching tires? Like when a car goes from 80 to 0 mph? That's what boomed in Shinji Ikari's mind when he caught sigh of one Misato Katsuragi, wearing an apron, and actually cooking in the kitchen. 'Maybe I can still make it to that cliff,' he thought.

No dice. Misato turned around, catching his eyes. "Ah, Shinji-kun. Good morning! Hurry, have a seat. Breakfast's ready."

Walking slowly like a condemned man, he complied, not having the willpower to go against such a beaming smile. 'Might as well endure it, she looks so, well, happy about it.' That though didn't sit well with him. Something wasn't right.

A steaming bowl was placed before him, and he mechanically took it and started eating, his mind still trying to figure out what was off about this scene. He was up to his third mouthful when he realized something. This cooking was actually edible. More than that, it was very good!

Awe-struck, he looks up at Misato. She just giggled. "I just may surprise you yet Shinji Ikari. Now eat up." She then turns around, busying herself on the kitchen counter.

Getting over his shock, he does just that. But the unease he felt over this situation came back. This just couldn't be. Misato working in the kitchen, the happy feeling floating around, this entire atmosphere, even if it was something he was wishing for since forever, wasn't right. Considering last night's events, this shouldn't be happening.

Just then, Misato starts speaking, her back still turned to him. "I didn't wake you up because you don't have to go to school today. I arranged it so don't start worrying about it. Just stay home, I think it'll do you some good." Shinji set his bowl down, comprehension beginning to set in. In the meantime, Misato kept talking. "I took the day off too, so I can stay here, and you won't be lonely. Besides, it's been a while since we really spent some time together hasn't it?" It was clear now that she was babbling. What's more, her speech rate was quickening, as if she was going into hysterics. He now knew what was bothering him a while ago, and was acting on it. While listening to her, he had gotten up, and walked up to her. She wasn't even aware of his presence behind her until he gently wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head on her back.

Needless to say, Misato's babbling immediately died out.

A mere two days ago, such an action from either one of them was unthinkable. But in light of what they've gone through in that short time, it shouldn't be surprising. Emotions, once let loose, thrive, and know no bounds. She had seen Shinji when he was at his lowest, most desperate moment, and reached out to him. Now he was doing the same thing when faced with what he believed to be a similar situation.

They stayed like that for a few moments, neither willing to break the peace. But it was only a matter of time before Misato crumbled under the strain. In reality, the main reason the meal had turned out that way was because she had spent the whole night working on getting it right. Not that she would have gotten much sleep had she not taken on that task, mind you. Her state of mind after her... epiphany, as it were, taxed her to the limit. She wasn't even aware of it when the tears started to fall.

On the other hand, Shinji's resolve was adamant. Surprisingly, he wasn't chanting his usual mantra to not run away. The very thought of running hadn't even formed in his mind. He was running on pure instincts.

With a shaky voice, Misato started to talk. "When I was on my way there, to the cliffs, I honestly didn't know if I'd make it in time. But for one second, one horrible moment, I actually thought that I was too late, and that you were gone." She raised her hands, putting them over Shinji's. "I couldn't handle it. I know I'm a horrible guardian, and I must have been kidding myself when I tried to play mother. But to think that I had let it go so far... To think that you found... _death_ more inviting than being with me... I just... just..."

"Enough."

He had heard enough. Hearing her sound so hollow, so desperate. It was time to end this. "I went there. I wasn't delirious, I wasn't compelled, by you or anyone. I thought I had no one and nothing, and I thought my existence was a burden to everyone." She tried to say something, to tell him it wasn't so, but he didn't give her a chance. "Please, hear me out. I need to say this. You shouldn't shoulder everything. It was my doing, my own. No one else's." He made her turn around, but didn't release his hold on her. "But something happened. I can't tell you about it, but I'll swear to you here and now, the madness that I nearly committed that night will never happen again." He actually smiled at her. "Misato-san, I like how were are right now. No acting, no lies. This is real. I'd like to stay this way. And if you're willing, I'd like to give... us... another try."

Still crying, but now smiling as well, Misato just held him, nodding.

There they were. All barriers have been torn down, all defenses left open to the other. And this is how they will stay from now on. Once you see someone in such light, you can never go back. Very few people can say they achieved such a bond, Misato and Shinji were just discovering theirs.

It was understandable that the notion of ending his life was completely eradicated from Shinji's mind. Even if at first uncomfortable with emotions, one they were set, they were all encompassing. At that moment, telling them they were too unrestrained was like telling a man dying of thirst there was such a thing as too much water. He'd take all he can get.

The rest of the day was spent with them just sitting in the apartment, talking about everything and nothing. They were rediscovering each other, all those little details that make us who we are. It was a new beginning for them, and they were going to make the best of it. They didn't lead normal lives, of that they were certain. This was war after all, with the human race's survival at stake, but now, maybe, just maybe, they could make it through, looking out for each other.

***section divide***

The day was nearing its end, and dusk started to set in. Shinji was standing on the balcony, just staring at the city bathed in golden light. It would be dark soon. And there was something he had been setting aside in his mind. Staying with Misato had been heavenly today. They had gotten to know each other in these hours more than he ever though possible. But now, he was thinking back to the being who made all this possible. The being to who he owed his life. It had all happened so fast, it was difficult not to classify the whole thing as a dream. But things couldn't get any more real than this. So many things were left unsaid between them. He wanted to see him again. He wanted to thank him. He wanted to know more about him. Even simpler, he just wanted to know his name. Just then, Misato joined him on the balcony.

"Penny for your thoughts?"

Even though he was deep in thought, and effectively oblivious to his surroundings, her voice didn't startle him in the least. A far cry from the boy who used to jump whenever someone called him name.

"Misato-san, I have to go out..." Just as she was going to agree and go get her keys, he added, "...alone."

Now, it was true that their relationship had jumped to a new level altogether, but this was still something that unsettled the woman. It's a sad fact really, that no matter how much you trust and love a person, there will be a corner of your mind where you always keep a little doubt ready, just in case. It's human nature. As it were, she managed to remain composed.

"And where exactly do you need to go... alone?" She made it a point to emphasize the last word, marking her disapproval.

He sighed, knowing this would be rough. "Will you promise that you'll hear me all the way through before you explode?"

"Shinji-kun, come now, what makes you think I'll explode? Now come on, out with it."

She was smiling. And she sounded too calm. 'Calm before the storm,' he thought. But still he pressed on. He needed to do this. "I want to go back to the cliffs."

He expected a lot of things. First and foremost was her yelling at him. Another was all the nearby Section 2 agent storming in and forcibly subduing him. But Misato did nothing of the sort. Her smile did fall away though.

"No."

Her head was lowered, making seeing her eyes difficult from behind her hair. So Shinji couldn't really tell what she was feeling. But he kept going. "Misato-san, I need to go there. I need to-"

"I said no! You can't go back there! Ever!"

Now he could see, all too clearly. She had tears in her eyes, but she was dead serious. So all he could do was match that state. "Misato-san, you promised to hear me out till I was finished. Please."

With a groan, she turned her back to him, but made no move to leave. He knew he had her attention, but he had to make it count.

"Misato-san, I need to go back there as I am now. You should know I'm not like I was when I first went there. Being with you is something I'd be crazy to throw away. But I need to face that place, and what I did there. If I leave it like this, it'll always be waiting there, unfinished, and I'd have learned nothing. Please, I'm asking you to trust me. I have no intention, not now, never again, to kill myself. I just need to put this behind me."

He wasn't lying. His words were a sincere reflection of his thoughts. But he couldn't very well tell Misato that he was going back in hopes of finding his savior there. That would have to wait for another day. Oh he did intend to tell her eventually. Truth was something he was placing very highly in his relationship with Misato now. But he had to take care of this himself first before he could even think of involving her.

For a few moments, she didn't move. He could only imagine what was going on in her mind. But he was certain of the outcome.

A heavy sigh, then: "How long will you be?"

"I'll probably be till well after dark, but I'll be back, I promise."

She faced him again, concern evident in her eyes. "Go. But don't you dare do anything stupid, like shaking off your surveillance. And I still want to know how you do that!"

Shinji couldn't help but laugh. She had returned to normal, and she had accepted him.

"Ah, now that would be telling. Now, I'm going."

As he was leaving, he stopped just before he closed the door. "Misato-san, to me, you're not just 'playing' mother."

Misato could only remain standing in place.

***section divide***

Once out of the building, he stood there for a moment, talking in his surroundings. He was looking for something. And then, he found it, the distinctive black suit and black sunglasses standing out quite well. He calmly walked up to the agent. 'Stone faced as always,' he thought, 'Maybe they take lessons from father?'

"Hello. Sorry about that mess yesterday."

To his credit, the agent didn't outwardly show any reaction, though he was very annoyed. Section 2 had gone though great lengths to find him that night, and the fact that he could elude them so easily and so often was making them look like fools.

"What do you want, Pilot?"

Shinji expected the cold treatment. Still, it didn't deter him. "I'm here to give you word of my actions. I intend to go back to the cliffs, like last night. I have no intention of doing anything... rash. And I won't do anything to impede your surveillance efforts. Actually, I'm just asking you to respect my privacy tonight. Do you think we can manage this?"

Now that got a reaction from the man, even if small. Was this the same wimpy, stuttering kid he was looking for last night? But surprise aside, professionalism took over as he turned away, talking into his mic to his team leader. After a few moments of listening to his earpiece, he turned back, and nodded.

"Thank you," replied Shinji, bowing slightly.

Having settled that, he turned and started on his way, hoping for the unlikely encounter to occur.

**Author's notes:**

When I was writing this, I originally started to talk about Shinji's meeting, but that opened a whole new development, and the chapter's length grew too long. So I thought I'd stop here, since it gave a more balanced feeling.

Also, I'm embarrassed, but I still haven't decided on a name for our winged friend, not to mention the rest of his clan, so I'm kinda stalling :p

And don't think it odd that there weren't any gargs mentioned in this chapter. There will be times where the focus of a chapter centers on either the Gargoyles aspect alone, or the Eva aspect alone, like here, simply because I thought the topic needed the attention of a spotlight.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you for the next installment.

And when you have a spare moment, review! I need to know how I'm doing. Heck, even if you have suggestions, I'll take 'em.


	3. Pledges

Disclaimer: Do I have to write this with every chapter? I'm writing for fun, not profit. I don't own gargs, nor Eva, so keep the lawyers at bay.

Catch the Wind

Chapter 3

Pledges

Has it been only a day? It certainly didn't feel that way. The scenery hasn't changed; it can't in such a short time, that's for sure. And yet, looking at the place where he tried to end his life, he couldn't help but think how different it felt to be here.

Sparing a glance behind him, he could see the agents watching him, but they were keeping their distance. Spotting the one he spoke to earlier, he nodded his thanks to him, a gesture the man returned.

He made his way to the spot where he last saw his winged savior. Taking a seat on a rock, he waited. But now what? Actually sitting there, he realized that meeting the creature from the previous night was a one in a million chance. He vaguely remembered Dr Akagi saying something about a 0.0000000001 chance regarding his activation with Unit-01 on the day of his arrival. He had to laugh at that thought. If his luck was the same as that day, his chances for an encounter this night weren't as desperate as he thought.

"Don't turn around."

'I gotta figure out how that happens,' Shinji thought, smiling. He had barely finished his thought when he heard the warning from behind him. There was no malice in the voice, but it held enough authority to make clear that he had to do what he was told, so he made sure to keep looking into the distance, so he wouldn't tip off the surrounding agents to another's presence.

"So you did come after all."

"I like it here." A slight pause. "You realize you are being watched? There are at least four people back there, quite well armed, and with one of the worst fashion senses I've ever seen."

A giggle slipped out from the Third Child. He had thought the same thing quite a few times. He was also glad that his savior had retained his sense of humor. "Sorry about them, it's their job to look after me. But I got them to stay a little ways back tonight. I believe we can talk like this."

"Hmmm. But why are you here boy? I figured you'd want nothing to do with this place ever again after last night. Unless..."

'He must think I want to jump again, ' Shinji thought, so he quickly replied. "Oh no, nothing like that. I just... wanted to find you again. And this is the only place I thought was the most likely."

A stunned silence followed. For a moment, Shinji thought he had said something to offend his companion, but then he heard a small laugh.

"Forgive me, but this is slightly odd. Usually, when one of you humans sees one of my kind, they take off running. It has happened so many times we've become accustomed to it. And yet, here you are, actually seeking me out."

"Well I..."

He didn't get a chance to finish. "Which is why I hope you won't think less of me for taking this with quite a bit of skepticism."

Even if he tried to send the message as lightly as possible, it was very clear to the Third Child. "You don't trust me."

"That'd be another way of putting it yes."

It really shouldn't have surprised him. One can't really expect another's trust overnight. He did indeed save his life, but for someone to come running back the very next day anyone would be skeptical. After a moment's thought, he started speaking again.

"You know, not too long ago, I'd say you were right not to trust me. I thought of myself as a sneak, a coward, a weakling. A lot of people had a lot of expectations from me, but in my mind, I saw myself only giving pain in return. I guess this was the main reason that lead me here in the first place. But... something, I can't really describe it, but something changed me. I can't turn around to face you, but please believe me when I say I'm being sincere. I know I don't have your trust, but I'd like to earn it. Besides, the fact remains that you saved my life, so I owe you, no matter how you look at it."

With no answer forthcoming, Shinji knew that his words had at least some effect. If what happened with Misato was any indication, trust begets trust. This was confirmed when he heard a small chuckle.

"Leader's going to kill me."

"I'm sorry?" asked Shinji, clearly puzzled.

"No, nothing. So you say you want to earn my trust. Very well. Look to your left."

Shinji did as he was told. There was a very clear view of Tokyo-3 in the distance, a view he had seen countless times before. Finding nothing out of the evident, he voiced his confusion. "Yes, I see the city. But I don't understand why-"

"Meet me tomorrow on the roof of that first building. You can't miss it, it has a neon add sign for Yebisu beer on it. Of course I don't need to remind you to come alone. Think you can manage to elude your entourage for that night?"

A grin appeared on the pilot's face. "Don't worry about that. I can always get away for the time needed. So I'll see you tomorrow. My school finished tomorrow at 2 PM, so I can probably make it there by-"

"No!" It wasn't a yell, but the whisper was slightly louder than intended, and that caught the surrounding agents' attention. "Damn. Listen carefully, be there after dark. Only after dark, understood?"

"Yes of course. Now hurry, they're coming." Just as he started to pull back into the shrubbery, Shinji called back. "Wait! I wanted to ask your name."

He couldn't make him out any more, but he did hear his reply. "Tomorrow. We'll see then." And with that he was gone. And not a moment too soon, as the agents arrives a few seconds later, the agent he had spoken to earlier at their lead.

"Fan out! Pilot Ikari, are you alright?"

Shinji put on his best dazed-and-confused act. "Of course. Is something wrong?"

"We heard someone else's voice. We will search the area. In case of a threat, it is best that you return to Captain Katsuragi's residence."

Still playing his role, Shinji continued. "Of course, let's go."

As they were waking back, a thought occurred to the Third Child. "Tell me, Agent... umm..."

"Tanaka. Yugo Tanaka."

"Tanaka-san, will your team be the one assigned to my surveillance tomorrow?"

An unusual question, but the agent saw no reason to deny an answer. "Actually no. We rotate with two other teams. It ensures that we're always alert."

"I see, thank you."

Being direct had served Shinji well. He simply wanted to try and keep Agent Tanaka out of trouble. Usually the agents assigned to him were grunts, mostly rude, apathetic at best. Finding one that was different was worth protecting. And if tomorrow went as planned, they were going to get chewed out rather thoroughly. Already ideas were forming in his mind as to the maner in which he will elude them this time, but keeping Misato from worrying. This was going to be tricky.

***section divide***

It didn't take long for Shinji to be brought back to the apartment. But as he waited for the elevator, he began to wonder how to face Misato. She had indeed let him go, but she'll be expecting some kind of explanation upon his return. And no matter how he tried to fight it, a sense of fear was building in him. The elevator ride seemed to take forever, and his pace kept slowing down as he approached his destination. Finally, he came to a stop in front of the door.

Questions and doubts assaulted his mind. How would he find her? Angry? Apathetic? In tears? Gone? The possibilities kept coming, and kept getting darker. So inevitably, they cycled to his greatest fear: losing what he had finally found with her. Sanctuary. Acceptance. Family. And dare he say it, love. With that in mind, he barely felt his body move as he opened the door and stepped in.

"Finally decided to open the door?"

How could he have doubted her? There she was, simply standing in the hallway, waiting for him. Her eyes still held lingering traces of worry, but they were quickly fading, replaced by relief.

What could he say? Did he really need to say anything? Answering his own question, he stepped up to her. And she, acknowledging the unsaid plea, readily embraced him.

"Tadaima" he whispered.

"Okaerinasai" she replied.

Were it only for words, they would have mirrored the ones spoken when he first set foot in this apartment. But now? Oh how much more meaning they held. He was home. He was where he belonged, and he was here to stay.

***section divide***

After a pleasant glide, he was home again. This is the second night he comes back earlier than usual, so he was hoping not to be noticed just yet. If she found him he'd never hear the end of it. Quietly sliding the door open, he stepped inside. Good, no one in sight. The night was still young, so everyone would be busy with their duties for a while. Now if he could just reach the -

"Onii-chan!"

The yell wasn't warning enough, since he, a full grown gargoyle, was knocked off his feet by a living cannonball. Apparently, the 'she' he was trying to avoid had found him. But how? The room was empty when he came in. Since he was now lying on the floor, he was in the perfect position to see the answer: a set of small talon marks on the ceiling. He couldn't help but be impressed. This little hatchling was able to sneak up on him, a trained warrior, even at such a young age. Be that as it may, it was time to slip back to 'big brother mode'.

"Risa-chan, you know you're no supposed to make claw marks inside our home. If Leader hears of this, you'll be sent to the rookery, again."

From her perch on his chest, Risa smiled innocently. "What Leader doesn't know won't hurt him, or me, tee-hee. Besides," she added, pouting cutely, "you've been going out a lot lately. I barely get to see you anymore."

Sighing, he got up, picking her up in the process. "Oh come now. There no need to say such things. I apologize though. It is true that I haven't been around as of late. But many things were happening. Things that I haven't anticipated."

Risa may be young, but she wasn't naïve. She felt there was more to her brother's trips alone. "Is something wrong onii-chan? Did something happen?"

Snapping out of his slight daze, he focused again on the young child in his arms. "No Risa, nothing you need to worry about. Tell you what, I'm back now, and it's still early, so why don't we catch up on our lost time?" He gently set her down, and in a mock ceremonious gesture, kneeled. "This night is dedicated to you, Risa. I am yours for as long as you wish."

For a moment, all she could do was stand there, blinking, until her face split into a smile that lit up the room. Jumping, cheering, she pounced at him again, and as expected, they fell over again, a mass of laughter and giggles.

Nothing can compare to the sound of a laughing child. And it was for this same reason that the lone figure observing the pair's actions from outside couldn't bring itself to interrupt such a precious moment. Pulling back for now, it was decided that there would be time later to inquire about these 'unanticipated events'.

***section divide***

Back in the Katsuragi/Ikari household, things have slipped back to a comfortable silence. Misato was at the table finishing up some paperwork, while Shinji was washing the last batch of dishes at the sink. Taking a quick glance behind him, he smiled. Misato was completely focused on her work. He didn't know if it was his place, but he couldn't help but feel pride at the sight.

"Misato-san? How about a break? You've been working on those for a while now."

She looked up from her workload, then stretched. "You know, that sounds like a good idea. I think I'll do just that." A thought occurred to her then, and a smirk dawned on her face. Shinji knew all to well what it meant. "Say Shinji-kun, you know what would make your idea even better? A beer."

"Misato-san," Shinji scolded, "you know you're supposed to cut down."

Waving his objections off, she pressed on. "Oh come on, a beer every now and then helps me loosen up. Now be a dear and get me a cold one."

He knew arguing about this was fruitless, so he went to the fridge. He however didn't notice Misato keeping an eye on him to gauge his reaction. And what a reaction, since all he could do was stand there, staring at a completely empty refrigerator. Not a beer can in sight. Slowly turning, he found Misato standing behind him.

"How... when did you... I mean..."

Giggling, Misato decided that she had let him stutter enough. "I think it's time I got over this little problem, don't you?" To this, Shinji nodded furiously. But then, she held his shoulders. "Shinji, listen to me. On days like these, it's easy for me to turn away from drinking. But no matter how much we don't want it to happen, darker harder days will come. There will be times where I will be tempted. If that happens-"

"I'll be here."

He was now holding her hands in his, and her gaze in his own. She had to warn him, to prepare him for what may come. "It'll be hard Shinji. You should know that-"

"I'll be here."

"Damn it Shinji I'm serious. It's not just about the beer. We're in a war. Things aren't always-"

"I'm serious too. I'll - be - here."

The pledge was set. They were there for each other, through thick and thin. Hugging the boy, she kept whispered "Thank you Shinji-kun. Thank you."

Trying to lighten the mood, Shinji asked, "You know, we're doing this quite often."

Misato caught on to what he was doing. "You mean hugging?"

He just nodded his reply.

"Are you saying you want us to stop?"

"Not on your life Misato-san."

The mock seriousness he put into that statement finally did it, and they both shared a wholehearted laugh.

"Well, I guess it's safe to say, we're out of beer, indefinitely."

Before Misato can agree, a black blur passed behind her and Shinji to stop in front of the fridge. And there it was, eyes wide as saucers, jaw hitting the floor...

"Pen-Pen?"

The penguin was indeed just standing there, disbelief on his face, and a tear in the corner of his eye. Shinji crouched down and waved his hand in front of the penguin's face. No reaction. Then Misato came over, giving the warm water bird a slight poke. He just tipped over and clattered to the floor like a plate.

**Author's notes:**

Sorry for the long delay, but the only times when I write are when inspiration hits me like a friggin' hammer, and that's not happening too often. Still, I'll renew my own pledge to you: I'm gonna see this story through.

There's one point I hesitated on in this chapter: the use of Japanese terms. It's just too easy to overuse them and make the story look stupid and fake. In this case, it just seemed better to have someone yell "onii-san" than "big brother". As for "tadaima" and "okaerinasai", I just believe that their implied meaning is stronger in Japanese than in English version of "I'm home" and "welcome home".

For the next chapter, I've come to a crossroad. 'Rei, beyond her heart.' I believe this first meeting with Rei to be a cornerstone in the original series, and I have to be absolutely sure to do it right in my own story.

Oh, and for a last statement (one that'll earn me both a few friends and enemies), pairing-wise, I'm giving serious thought to making this a S/R story.


	4. Life

Standard disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion, or any other external source of inspiration I used to write this. I'm just having fun while trying to get other people to have fun.

Catch the Wind

Chapter 4

Life

The night started out rather well. After making sure Pen-Pen was still breathing and putting him back in his fridge, both Shinji and Misato retired to their own rooms. Considering her anxious vigil for his return, it was no surprise that Misato fell asleep almost as soon as her head hit her pillow. Even Shinji found himself relaxing in his bed, still feeling the warmth of her words earlier. But no matter how close he came to falling asleep, it simply continued to elude him. After seemingly endless tossing and turning, he threw off his covers and walked outside. Mindful not to make any noise, he tiptoed to the balcony. If he couldn't sleep, there was no reason to drag Misato into his insomnia.

With the cool night breeze washing over him, he tried to focus on the reason for his lack of slumber. But as it is with such things, the more conscious effort you put into it, the more you have absolutely no idea what it is you're looking for. He started scanning the city below. Misato's apartment was the perfect vantage point as he could still distinguish people from its height.

How the city looked different at this hour; the usual hustle and cacophony of the day's activities almost completely gone. He only caught a glimmer of movement every now and then from a lone car here or a bus there. It was so easy to forget they were in a war-like state. But before that train of thought could pull him under, we witnessed something extraordinary, something we take for granted far too easily. The twilight was fading, the midnight blue of the sky was brightening up. Shinji was watching the sun rise. The fact in itself would be insignificant to most of us, but Shinji couldn't tare his eyes away.

The fact that his life has taken an unexpected turn would be an understatement. But he had been granted the miracle of a second chance, and witnessing the simple occurrence of a sunrise reaffirmed that idea. Nature itself was showing him its version of some very good advice: "There you go, a new beginning. All is possible to you."

Then, it finally fell into place, the reason for his inability to sleep. He was afraid. He was afraid of going back, of facing everyone he knew, and most of all, of how they'd react when they knew what he had almost done. It was that irrational fear that was nagging at his tired mind. But that's just what it was: irrational. He now knew that he'd have to take that step. It probably won't be easy, but he'll still go through with it. And now, there was one large difference, as he had Misato for his support. It was amazing how he felt he could face anything with her by his side.

"Quite the sight, isn't it?"

'There it is again,' he thought. 'I'm beginning to think there's someone up there laughing at me every time these coincidences happen.'

"That it is Misato-san. I'm sorry if I woke you up. I though I was quiet though."

She had joined him on the balcony now. "Oh it wasn't you. I always wake up quickly when I fall asleep tired, if that makes any sense…"

"Not really, but I think I still get it." They both giggled at that, then just stayed there, sharing the view with each other's quiet company. It was Shinji who first broke the silence.

"Misato-san. I think it's time I went back."

She sighed to herself, knowing this moment would come. "I thought you'd think this way eventually. I just never thought it'd be so soon. Do you feel ready enough to go back?"

He didn't answer immediately. "Honestly Misato-san, I don't. I don't think anyone can be completely ready for this kind of thing. But I still think I should go back. I owe it to myself, and to all of them."

She took a good minute to look at him. And just when he thought she'd refuse him, she reached out and cupped his cheek. "You seem to know where you're going, so I won't stop you. Just remember I'm here for you, no matter how things turn out, good or bad. But there's one condition."

"And that would be?"

Her hand left his cheek to ruffle his hair. "You're not leaving this apartment till you feed me. It may be early, but I still want my breakfast. I think I've proven I can cook yesterday, but it's something I'm not going to be doing very often."

***section divide***

Soon after having breakfast and a few more laughs, Shinji was on his way to school. It was still early, so he was pretty sure it'll be a while before he saw anyone. But as he was nearing a crossroad, he noticed someone was waiting for the light to change, completely oblivious to the surroundings, nose buried in a small book. If the school uniform wasn't hint enough, the twin pigtails were a dead giveaway.

"Class rep?" Shinji called out, tapping her gently on the shoulder.

To Hikari's credit, she didn't scream right there and then. Her back did go rigid suddenly, a small yelp escaping her lips. Slowly turning around, her wide eyes finally focused on Shinji.

"Ikari-kun! You scared the living daylights out of me! Don't sneak up on people like that!"

All Shinji could do was scratch the back of his head and grin sheepishly. "I'm sorry I startled you. It wasn't my intention I assure you."

Hand still on her chest to keep her still racing heart from jumping out, she took a calming breath. "No, it's alright now. Just call me from a bit farther next time." She finally took a good look at him. "Ikari-kun, this is the first time I've seen you in days. You realize you've been absent quite some time now? This simply won't do."

'Straight to the point, as always.' It wasn't that Shinji was intimidated by Hikari, even though she could be quite so when in full class rep mode. It was just that he'd never really tried to get to know his classmate – well, any of his classmates for that matter. Touji and Kensuke were an exception, but they came into his life in rather… unique circumstances.

"About that class rep, I- "

Hikari quickly held up a finger, interrupting him. "Ikari-kun. I'm only a class representative when in school. Please, when out here, call me by my name. Sorry if I sounded forceful, but right now, I'm just expressing concern for a friend."

This took Shinji slightly by surprise. Had she just called him a friend? He had never thought of her as such in the past. To him, she was an authority figure in school, a classmate at best.

"Do you really see me as a friend cla- Hokari-san?"

She smiled at his attempt to honor her request. "Of course Ikari-kun." Inwardly, Hikari was overjoyed. Her status as class representative did of course come with a certain level of power and prestige, but it also alienated her to most of the other students. So whenever someone was able to look beyond her position, she saw it as a rare and precious event.

Sighing one last time, Shinji's face became serious. "Hokari-san, may I walk with you the rest of the way to school? There are many things I need to talk to you about."

***section divide***

'Well, I did agree' was the thought running through Hikari's mind. But the revelations she'd just been handed were definitely not what she was expecting. At first she thought Shinji was coming to her with the usual student troubles, like academic difficulties, or perhaps problematic interaction with the other students. She really should have known better, especially with that serious look he had earlier. Quite a few times Shinji's words caused her to gasp and stop in her tracks. An understandable reaction really. It isn't everyday you're told that one of your classmates was circling in a downward spiral of suicide right under your nose and you didn't do anything about it.

But another, guilty thought started to emerge as she took it all in. 'Right under my nose'.

There was always something else, wasn't there. Some duty she had to perform, or some student asking for help with his homework. She always took some pride in always being busy, always being called upon. She was the responsible, mature one. But how those tasks and obligations seemed... insignificant now. She should have been able to see the signs. The sad thing was, she did. He was always alone, barely talked to anyone, and he was a pilot! And what does she do? Ask him to keep up with his homework and put his behavior in the stereotypical transfer student's slow start category.

The school was coming into view now, in the distance. But her feet were getting heavier with each step she took, to the point where she stopped walking altogether.

Shinji must have sensed her not being beside him anymore, and looking back he indeed saw her, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, staring at her feet. He knew that confiding in Hikari was a risky move at best, with possibly devastating results. But Shinji was literally on new grounds here, completely playing it by ear.

As Shinji started walking back towards Hikari, her thoughts were in complete turmoil. So when he was near her, trying to get her attention, she wouldn't meet his gaze. Her legs refused to move, so she couldn't run away from him, so she just resigned herself to avert her eyes when he tried to look at her.

Just then, Shinji showed once again how much he had changed. He didn't panic, he didn't clam up, he didn't even run away. Instead he did an almost childish thing. He crouched down till he was looking up at Hikari's face, as a young child would when looking up at an adult. And when he finally was certain he had her attention, he just smiled and said: "I'm here aren't I?"

Hikari's eyes went wide. With just that, he was telling her that he wasn't blaming her, that he was giving her another chance. He said as much earlier, they were friends, and never had those words sounded more comforting. As it were, she was practically in tears, thanking him profusely. It took all her willpower not to hug the boy.

When Hikari has sufficiently recomposed herself, they resumed their walk to school. Once inside and nearing their classroom, she noticed that Shinji's pace was slowing down, as if he was dreading something in the approaching room. It didn't take long for her to voice her concern.

"Ikari-kun?"

He finally stopped at that. "I'm sorry Hokari-san, but it's still difficult. I know I have to go in there, but facing them... terrifies me. What will they think of me? Will they reject me? Hate me?"

She understood now. It was mere luck that he had met her alone this morning. He was coming back to make amends with people he cared for. His friends. Dealing with her alone must have been hard enough, not to mention that he was just really getting to know her as a friend. But what of people he'd allowed closer to himself? His real friends? Of course he'd be scared out of his mind. But then, this strengthened her own resolve. She was presented with a chance to repay his faith in her. She laid a comforting hand on his shoulder, slightly startling the boy, and said: "I'm here aren't I?"

Blinking a few times, Shinji burst out in full laughter. His own words, she had thrown his own words back at him. It was amazing how he was going back into a spiral of self doubt, when it was so simple to climb back out with just a little support. He can do it. He had Misato at home, and he now had Hikari here beside him. With a little luck, he could do it.

At last, they were in the classroom. Not many students were here this early. As a matter of fact, the only one that was here this early was Ayanami. But her desk was empty, and Shinji guiltily felt a little relieved at that fact. He wasn't sure he could face her this soon. He went to his own desk and sat down. Hikari had sat down at her own and started working on her laptop, probably checking her schedule for the day, so Shinji just sat there quietly, taking a moment to relax. All things considered, it felt good to have settled things with Hikari. He was now simply praying for the strength to do the same with...

His train of thought was cut off when a shadow loomed over him. Looking up, he noticed that the class had started to fill up, but when he saw who was actually facing him, he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "Toji…"

Nothing was said beyond that. Toji was just standing there, an unreadable look on his face. Even Hikari was watching the scene tensely, ready to jump in should anything happen. But nothing like that happened, except the look turned into a frown, and he just walked past Shinji to his own seat. Again, Shinji didn't have much time to ponder on Touji's reaction, as someone else entered the classroom, with a completely different reaction.

"Shinji! Finally you show up man!" It was Kensuke, and as forthcoming as always. He quickly walked to Shinji's side and gave him a hard pat on the back. "I tell ya, you have no idea how worried me an To-"

"Kensuke!"

That stopped him short. Toji had yelled for him. And when they turned to see why, all he did was jerk his head towards Kensuke's seat. The frown was still there, and the message was all too clear. 'Sit down and shut up.' Sharing one last look, Kensuke did just that, but not before saying a last "Glad you're back".

Shortly after that, the school day started, and no words were exchanged. Shinji kept stealing glances at Toji's seat, but the jock never looked up once. Another detail stuck in Shinji's mind. He was still frowning.

***section divide***

It seemed like an eternity had passed before the bell announced the lunch break. The students quickly vacated the room, except for the four of them. No one was willing to make the first move, mainly because the tension emanating from Toji was almost palpable. When Shinji couldn't take it anymore, he stood up, and on shaky steps walked towards his angered friend's desk. Even when he was standing right next to him, the jock still didn't move. He was still sitting there, frowning, eyes closed, arms folded across his chest. Swallowing one more time, Shinji finally tried to speak.

"Umm, Toji... I wanted to-"

Toji stood up so fast that Shinji backed up and almost fell over a nearby desk. And at last, he looked Shinji in the eyes. Fire was the only thing he could think of when he met that gaze. "Follow me." The tone used made doubt impossible. Obey or suffer.

As Shinji was following Toji's lead, he cast a pleading look at the other two remaining occupants of the classroom. But they were already getting up to follow him. As they walked, Shinji noticed they were heading behind the main building, where the sports storage shed was. However that place had another meaning for Shinji. It was where he encountered Toji for the first time, and where he was punched down by Touji for the first time. The way things were going, it looked like there was going to be a repeat performance.

Toji kept walking till he was standing right at the shed's door, with Shinji right behind him, and the others slightly further back. They thought it'd be better to give the two room to talk. That little assumption was quickly proven wrong when they broke into a run as they saw Toji spin around, grab Shinji by the shirt and slam his back into the wooden door, but quickly skidded to a halt as Toji yelled out "Stay away!"

They stayed that way for a few moments, Hikari and Kensuke almost forgetting to breathe, Toji shaking with barely restrained anger, and Shinji with his feet not touching the ground. Indeed, rage was quite evident when looking at Touji, but everyone, Shinji included, was slightly mistaken as to its target.

"Seven."

Dead silence. No one knew what to make of the number Toji just uttered. And soon enough, he kept going.

"Just seven years old. She looks so small laying there in the hospital bed. So weak. Broken."

It didn't take a genius to figure out who he was talking about. "M-Mari?"

Indeed, the fate of the small child was a shadow looming on Shinji's conscience since he found out about her. He still considered himself responsible.

SLAM

He was slammed into the wooden door again. "Shut up and listen!"

'Are those stars? In the middle of the day?' An almost comical thought in Shinji's mind, but that was the extent to his friend's rage. He wasn't holding back.

"Mari fights every day, clinging to life. She's so weak, and she still fights. And then there's you! How dare you! How dare you just try and throw it away! She's half your age, and she's fighting with everything she's got! And what do you do? Huh? Just quit?"

Shinji then realized something. What he almost did... didn't affect just himself. Whether he liked it or not, it touched everyone around him. Toji didn't know that Shinji had, as it were, turned over a new leaf. But he saw that he needed to let it out of his system. So he let his friend vent his rage, knowing it was, in a small way, his penance, or at the very least, its start.

"At first, all I could do was blame you. You were a pilot. You're supposed to fight for us. Fight for life itself. So when Mari was hurt, all I felt was betrayed. And then you pull this shit! Trying to kill yourself! For that, I hated you. But you know what?" Suddenly Shinji was released, and he crumpled to the ground. Having let go, Toji stomped over to a nearby bench and heavily sat down, crossing his arm, as if he was... pouting? "I don't know how you managed to convince yourself to stop in the end, but I'm not gonna give you another chance. If you ever, EVER, try to pull something like this again, I swear I'll be the one to do you in."

'If only you knew,' Shinji thought. Picking himself up, he went and slowly sat next to his self-proclaimed "chaperon".

"Toji?"

"What?"

"Are we good?"

The "pout" fading slightly, Toji replied. "Ikari, what you did is damned near unforgivable. I can't just say we're good. We will be, but not right now. And I said I'd defend you back in the station. That includes from yourself."

Slowly nodding, Shinji accepted it. In his own way, Toji has dealt with his actions, and was still offering to stay by his side. All things considered, he should be counting his blessings that his head was still attached to his shoulders.

"Toji?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Shaddap."

And there you have it. Slowly, amends were made, and life, in its ever constant pace, started moving again. All that left was the two observers: Hikari with a relieved smile and Kensuke slightly disappointed.

"What? That's it?"

Hikari quietly nodded. "You of all people should know that. That's just the way he is."

"Yeah I know but… whatever. I'm just glad he didn't go ballistic like last time."

"He'll surprise anyone," she said with a blush that went completely unnoticed. "Come on, let's go to them."

***section divide***

The rest of the day went by rather quickly, but by the time he was heading back home, he has a small smile across his face. Slowly but surely, he was rebuilding his friendship with the few people he had gotten close to since his arrival. Once back in class, they has spent some time talking through the laptops' chat rooms, and although Touji wasn't as talkative as usual, he did join in a few times. The priceless moment was when Hikari herself appeared in the virtual conversation, not to berate them and shut them down, but to join in. And as the initial shock wore off, only Shinji noticed that Touji had become a little more talkative. An interesting detail, but he couldn't make anything out of it yet.

Pulling out his cellphone, he dialed Misato's number, and when she answered, she had obviously known it was his as he was assaulted by a torrent of questions.

"Shinji? How did school go? Are you alright? How did it go? Did they say anything? Are you okay? Gah I'm swamped with work... but I can be home in a few hou-"

"Woah woah... easy Misato-san!" He couldn't help but chuckle at her reaction. She wasn't frantic, just working on overdrive. But just hearing his voice calmed her down significantly. He heard her take a deep breath before she asked again, her voice calmer, but all the more caring.

"How did it go?"

"It was a bit... shaky at first. But eventually... I think it's going to be alright Misato-san. I really do."

He could hear her smiling even across the phone. "That's great Shinji. I'm happy for you."

He'd been waiting to call her since coming back to class after his reckoning with Touji, and if her initial tone was any indication, he was right to do so. She was at ease now. It was time to work on another matter at hand. He was still trying to find an excuse to get away from the apartment tonight, but she just may have given him just that.

"Is everything alright? You sounded completely buried..."

He heard her groan pitifully. "If this mountain of files and reports tips over, I will be... Listen Shinji, I'll probably be late if I want to finish this up... Think you can keep yourself busy a little longer than usual till I get back?"

He couldn't allow himself to sound too eager, but this was exactly what he wanted. It still felt odd to be hiding this from her, but he had given his word, and it wasn't his secret to tell. Later... maybe later. "Hmm, actually, I think I'll head over to the mall or something. I'm not too big on sitting alone back home. Think that'll be alright?"

"Sounds good. Gah, I have to get back to this cruel and unusual punishment... Call me again later okay? It's nice hearing from you like this."

Her voice had gone softer towards the end. It was somewhat funny, as he had intended to do just that, even if she hadn't asked. "I will. Take it easy Misato-san."

Closing his phone, he started towards the city's commercial district. If he timed it right, he'd get there just as the evening was rolling in, fitting perfectly with his meeting.

**Author's notes:**

Yes, I'm alive. How, I don't know, but I am. I decided this story was on hiatus for long enough. What? How many years? I can't hear you… you're breaking up… crackle fizzle pop

But seriously, I got a few ideas on the next few happenings of this story, and it got ye ol' creative juices flowing again. I hopes a few people remember this story, I'm back, heh. And to anyone discovering it, I hope you enjoy.

Also, there weren't any garg elements in this chapter, so expect quite a few in the next one.


End file.
